Our feelings about Sansmokio Holmes and his prompted and obligatory apology plus James “I talk out my ass” Farrior’s comments are best summed up here by our favorite anonymous blogging Pittsburgh diva-ish shape tongue, PittGirl.

ESPN confirms that Roger Goodell has handed down a indefinite suspension to Dallas Cowboy CB Adam “PacMan” Jones. the suspension carries with it a 4 week minimum, a treatment program, an evaluation by league-hired clinical experts and an absolutely positively no shooting up strip clubs clause.
We at SMcS think you’ve seen Mr. Jones last game in the NFL. Sadly he got burnt twice and looked pretty pathetic in the overtime broken appendage loss to the Cardinals.

Pacman suspended at least 4 games for violating conduct policy [ESPN.com]

Ex-Denver Bronco running back, Travis Henry, was arrested on drug charges this past Wednesday. A few pounds of pot? Gram or two of coke? Some X to get the ladies all hot an bothered? Nah. Mr. Henry went all Usual Suspect on our ass. Allegedly, Henry was the money man behind a $75,00 drug deal. His arrest story, straight outta Hollywood, includes an informant, a sting operation, a drug-courier that rolled over when arrested, and Travis Henry Söze Montana Soprano threatening to kill an informant’s entire family.

Details in the Travis Henry Drug Bust Emerge; Will Soon Become a Martin Scorsese Movie [Deadspin]

This is how Tony Dungy and the Indianapolis Colts roll..  You get busted with weed you get a pink slip.   We imagine the conversation went like this:

Ed Johnson [about the song Puff the Magic Dragon] Great song.

Tony Dungy: Yeah, one of my favorites.

Ed Johnson Who would’ve thought it wasn’t really about a dragon, huh?

Tony dungy: What do you mean?

Ed Johnson: You know, the whole drug thing.

Tony Dungy: No, I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?

Ed Johnson: Some people think that…to “puff the magic dragon” means to– They’re really, uh– to smoke– to smoke– a marijuana cigarette.

Tony Dungy: Well, Puff’s just the name of the boy’s magical dragon.

Ed Johnson: Right.

Tony dungy: Are you a pothead, Johnson?

Ed Johnson:  No! No.

Tony dungy: What?

Ed Johnson No, no, no, no, Mr. Dungy. No, I’m– I’m not– I– I pass on grass all the time. I mean, not all the time.

Tony Dungy: Yes or no, Ed?

Ed Johnosn: No. Yes. No.

Colt’s Johnson Arrested, Then Cut [SI.com]

Forget Power Rankings, Depth Charts, Match-up Reports.  If you want to see where your favorite NFL team sits among the league you need to compare off-field arrests.  You can do that here with RadarOnline’s Gridiron Bars team-by-team arrest report overview.  As an aside, we’d love to see who leads the league in on-field arrests.

Good news for Steeler fans, Radar thinks the recent history of domestic violence toward women is a thing of the past.  No word yet on the make-up sex.

(He’s Rick James Harrison, biotch.)

Is Ken Lucas crying? For real? Crying? Damn, son, crying? The picture to the left depicts Steve Smith of the Panthers consoling Ken Lucas after giving him a beat down in practice.  According to the Charlotte Observer:

There was an altercation on the field at this morning’s practice between receiver Steve Smith and cornerback Ken Lucas, and Lucas was later carted off the field by the team’s training staff.

A fight broke out on the sideline, and a crowd of players converged on the scene. Smith was pulled away from the scene by linebacker Jon Beason.

Lucas was taken to a tent, where he held an ice pack over his face for several minutes.

Now, the astute football fan will remember that Mr. Smith is a serial playground bully who was

Topping today’s list of dumbasses is Jacksonville Jaguar , Matt Jones. The ex-Arkansas Razorback QB and now Jaguar WR was arrested early this morning by Arkansas police for cocaine and marijuana possession. Jones was allegedly cutting up lines in a car with two other dudes (we smell scandal) An officer walked up to the passenger side rear door and saw Jones sitting inside. The report said he had in his lap a white card with a white powder and in his had a credit card that he was using to chop up and scrape the powder.

 Mr. Jones must not have the internets, for he most assuredly would have seen that NFL players and the po po are a hot topic lately. Hats off to you, Matt, for staying so old skool and doing your coke in a parked car rather than your house. Update: Arkansas police arrest Jaguars receiver Matt Jones in SUV with cocaine, marijuana [Jacksonville.com]

Could it be?  Might it be?  Is is possible that not a single current NFL player got a DUI over long 4th of July weekend?  No threatening women with guns?  Zero Vegas Champagne spraying beat-downs?  We say that is unpossible.  We’ll need to recheck the news wires.

Wanted: An unemployed NFL coulda-been to be the fourth in our Sunday afternoon poker game. Applicants should be no stranger to the booze, carry at least one handgun, take no lip from no women, and be indifferent to the fact that they most likely wasted their futures. You must be prone to felonious offenses, wasting numerous breaks and second chances, and generally unable to learn from past mistakes. If your name is Randy Moss, don’t bother applying, sissy do-gooder.

Had Toronto Buffalo Bills’ scouts done a more thorough job in researching ALL of Marshawn “Hit and Run” Lynch’s skills and abilities (back when he still A Cal Bear), they surely would have been able to predict his horrible driving skills. Anyone who reviewed these various videos of Lynch driving a field cart would have fear for all the citizens of Buffalo crossing any street anywhere.

and a fan’s view for an added bonus…..

…click here to read more