Reports out of Vegas are that Javon Walker is in decent condition after having oral surgery (on his fractured orbital we assume).  Mr. Walker did a quick interview with TheDirty.com in the hopes of clearing up some rumors. Below you will find his comments:
I was just back at my room and at about 5:30 in the morning I got a knock at the door. I opened it and 3 guys with guns were there. They cracked me in the head a few times, knocking me unconscious. They then robbed me of everything I had; my watch, money, everything! Somehow they got me to a car and dropped me off in the street. That’s what happened.”

–Javon Walker discussing his boys night out

Walker also claimed there was no connection to the robbery and his champagne spraying antics. Well….ummmm….OK, if you say so Javon. We wonder what prompted 3 thugs to pull off such a stunt. Possibly the fact that a drunken fool was in Vegas all weekend flashing his money, buying $15k rounds of champagne and then spraying the crowd with it? What are we saying? This is Vegas we are talking about, we just described almost everybody.

If only there were surveillance cameras in Vegas that could corroborate Mr. Walker’s story.  You know, a few grainy shots of three dudes dragging a fourth that looks like Mr. Walker down the hall, through the lobby, out in the parking lot…  Where is Ed Deline when you need him? 
 

…click here to read more

Oakland Raider wideout and Frohawk sporter, Javon Walker , was found unconscious and severely beaten in Las Vegas. Walker was discovered about a block from the Las Vegas strip. Vegas PD reports that Walker has a fractured orbital and was the victim of an apparent robbery. Las Vegas Review Journal columnist, Norm Clarke (the Vegas gossip hound and part time pirate), reported that Walker was seen Saturday night (Sunday morning) at Tryst in the Winn…are you ready for this?…..spraying the crowd with Dom Perignon Rose.  Clarke also reports that Walker was also seen at Body English in the Hard Rock spraying the crowd with another round of Dom….are you ready for when? ……the wee hours of Monday morning .  Our money says he was beaten by a tourist from Idaho not too thrilled about the early morning champagne shower on the way to the breakfast buffet.

We at SMcS are considering putting Walker in the Chris Henry category of man-child idiots too stupid to stay away from trouble.  If you remember, Walker was seated in the limo next to Darrent Williams when Williams was  killed in a drive-by shooting . There are rumors that a champagne spraying incident was the impetus for the drive-by (don’t quote us on that check the MVN.com link below).

snaps of Walker R Kellying the crowd at Body English

NFL Wideout Found Beaten [ReviewJournal.com]
Raiders Walker A Victim According to Press Release [MVN.com]

Former Virginia Tech quarterback and brother of Michael “Ron Mexico” Vick, Marcus Vick, has been arrested and charged with DUI and evading police. Vick the younger (and dumber?) was spotted by a Norfolk Bicycle Patrolman sitting in a car arguing with 24-year old Delicia Cordon (pictured above). When the officer asked to see a driver’s license, Vick allegedly broke the hell out like the chicken pocks. Stricken with less mobility than his older and (wiser ?) brother, Vick was apprehended only minutes later where he promptly failed a field sobriety test. He was charged with DUI, misdemeanor eluding police, reckless driving and driving on a suspended license. Cordon was charged with public drunkenness.

Marcus Vick Arrested in Virginia for DUI [AP]

To the best of our knowledge, there has been no DWI’s,  no top named hold-outs, no Steeler domestic disputes, no retirements etc. etc. in the world of football today.  What we offer you instead is a picture of Eli Manning with the look of a prep school boy that snuck into town and drank 3 wine coolers.

NIGHT BEFORE

MORNING AFTER

The Chicago Bears, in what we dub a good move, have released avid boat and car hobbyist Cedric Benson. As reported earlier here on SMcS, Benson racked up two DWIs in the last month. After the release of Tank Johnson last season for similar offenses, there was question as to what the Bears would do about Benson. Questions answered. We applaud the Bears for remaining consistent in message and punishment. Reminds us of some consistency we were looking for in the actions of the Steeler organization with regard to Cedric Wilson, James Harrison, and Najeh Davenport, but we digress.

“Cedric displayed a pattern of behavior we will not tolerate. As I said this past weekend, you have to protect your job. Everyone in this organization is held accountable for their actions.”

–Bears’ General Manager Jerry Angelo about the release of Cedric Benson

Former first-round pick waived after second alcohol-related arrest [NFL.com]

 Not to be outdone by the young bucks (see Cedric Benson) , ex-NFLer and current Alabama Crimson Tide broadcaster Kenny “The Snake” Stabler was arrested early Sunday morning on his 3rd DUI charge (one less than his Pro-Bowl appearance, if you are keeping count). Weaving is not scrambling.  For his part, Stabler is a legendary drinker.  We here at SMcS would like to think that Franco Harris and a certain fingertip catch have a little to do with it.  It isn’t that we condone alcoholism or drinking and driving, it is that we arte tickeed inside when Steeler football causes lifelong anguish in others.  Heal up, Kenny, we’ll be pulling for you.

“All I wanna do is drive around in my truck and drink Jack Daniels… and they just don’t understand.”

–Ken Stabler commenting on a probable cause of his divorce.

Ken Stabler Arrested For DUI [RollBamaRoll.com]

You can’t make this stuff up.  Summer has just barely begun and Cedric Benson of the Chicago Bears has been busted for DWI related offenses twice.  TWICE.  Ever-Ready-Cedy got popped a few weeks back for boating while intoxicated and resisting arrest (both infractions he denies having perpetrated) and early this morning  he fails a field sobriety test in Austin after he was suspected of driving drunk.  Austin police spokeswoman, Veneza Aguinaga, said Benson was stopped overnight at 5th and Colorado Streets for a traffic violation and refused a breathalyzer and blood test.  Benson was released from Travis County Jail at approximately 9 am this morning.  We plan to keep a close eye on the Bear’s organization for a response.  It’ll be quite interesting to see if they remain consistent in action and cut Benson as they did Tank Johnson after his DUI last year (a crime he was eventually exonerated).

DWI tri-fecta is now in play. We are praying that Mr. Benson owns one of these.

Chicago Bears’ Cedric Benson Arrested Again, Charged With Drunk Driving [AOLSports]

The “Cruzin’ Cooler” is a product for the mobile lush.  It is what it looks like, a cooler with a motor and wheels.  Talk about driving an open container.  Her comes the funny………In New York state, a motorized cooler  is considered a motor vehicle and is subject to the same laws as other vehicles. A fact that Leslie J. “Bomber” Marr, 57 of Whitehall, N.Y. found out about the hard way. Bomber faces felony DWI and aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle (Marr has prior drinking and driving related charges) after he was pulled over by the local fuzz. Police on the scene say Bomber had 14 beers in the cooler and refuse a breathalyzer test.  Beyond not drinking and driving at all, our advice to Cruzin’ Cooler owners is– take the back roads, man, take the back roads.  We’re not sure if we’d like to see a Steeler version of this contraption.

Man driving motorized cooler faces DWI, other charges [PostStar.com]