Listen, we put up with the fact that you are a snot-nosed barely out of high school under qualified political punch line. We chuckle over a cold Iron when we see you parading around at big sports events and trying to bum rounds of golf at prestigious courses. We get that throw-up-in-the mouth-feeling when we see the billboards and the dilapidated old converted diner as your “Reddup” headquarters. We wondered how long it took you to wash the Hillary off your lips after the St. Patrick’s day parade (not quite a party anymore). We try not to wince as we know you carry the title that some great Pittsburghers have held (look at the statue outside for a hint). But, you cross the line when you cry poor and announce there probably won’t be a Steeler victory parade should the team hoist the Lombardi trophy in Tampa.

Luke, Luke, Luke…..this is a city that shoots of hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of fireworks every few weeks for seemingly no reason at all. This is a town that pays tons of money for useless Regattas and pitiful arts festivals. This is a town that runs on football and finds a way to crack a smile and tip a glass, even in bleak times, over what the Steelers do on the gridiron. To deny this city a chance to stand tits to ass in the cold weather and yell things at players riding in cars down Grant Street is just plain ridiculous.

Do the right thing, Luke. Grab beer, cut out of work a little early, give up the free tickets and trips and pay for some police and some fencing; and, should the Steelers stomp the Cards on Sunday, let this city freak the hell out for a few hours.

Sincerely,

SmCS